choosing love

This time last year, I panicked.

I was just three days from making one of the biggest decisions of my life and I found myself thinking I'm only 20 years old...am I really ready to make a decision that lasts forever (forever, forever, forever)??

Andy and I were in Salt Lake already and had just gotten back from a movie date when I had this...moment. It was like all of a sudden the flowers and the dress and the rings were becoming something very real, something that was more than I could really comprehend at that time. I knew I wanted to marry Andy, but in the midst of planning and traveling and life in general, I had gotten so overwhelmed. We went on a walk to a nearby park, found a bench, and talked things through. Andy was so patient with me, even though he was probably thinking "Who is this crazy girl I'm supposed to be marrying on Saturday?" He let me ramble on and on about "what if" this and "what if" that...and all of a sudden we were laughing. Laughing at how ridiculous I was being and laughing because of course we were making the right decision. Then I remembered a quote I heard from President Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of our church:

"Choose your love. Love your choice."

And I felt peace. About the wedding and about the future. Because the Lord had led me to Andy and Andy to me. And we chose to love each other. I don't think you choose to fall in love. That just happens. Sometimes it's unexpected and fast and feels like a whirlwind, and sometimes it takes a little more time, falling together slowly, bit-by-bit. Everyone's "falling in love" story is a little bit different. Ours seemed like a little bit of both. I do think, however, that you choose to stay in love. You choose to take the other's left-behind dirty plate to the sink for them. You choose to write love letters with shaving cream on the bathroom mirror. You choose to go to the midnight premier of the other's favorite movie, even though you spend the entire time wondering what the heck is even going on. Because love is an action. It's not something that just magically sticks around forever without any effort. You have to choose to put the other's wants and needs before your own and build upon that love every single day. It's a lot of work and our relationship is nowhere near perfect. Our first year of marriage has been a constant trial-and-error process and we have so much to learn still. But in that moment one year ago, I realized our future together is what we choose to make it. I'm glad we chose forever.

^^Photos by Kimbry Studios.