choosing love

This time last year, I panicked.

I was just three days from making one of the biggest decisions of my life and I found myself thinking I'm only 20 years old...am I really ready to make a decision that lasts forever (forever, forever, forever)??

Andy and I were in Salt Lake already and had just gotten back from a movie date when I had this...moment. It was like all of a sudden the flowers and the dress and the rings were becoming something very real, something that was more than I could really comprehend at that time. I knew I wanted to marry Andy, but in the midst of planning and traveling and life in general, I had gotten so overwhelmed. We went on a walk to a nearby park, found a bench, and talked things through. Andy was so patient with me, even though he was probably thinking "Who is this crazy girl I'm supposed to be marrying on Saturday?" He let me ramble on and on about "what if" this and "what if" that...and all of a sudden we were laughing. Laughing at how ridiculous I was being and laughing because of course we were making the right decision. Then I remembered a quote I heard from President Thomas S. Monson, the prophet of our church:

"Choose your love. Love your choice."

And I felt peace. About the wedding and about the future. Because the Lord had led me to Andy and Andy to me. And we chose to love each other. I don't think you choose to fall in love. That just happens. Sometimes it's unexpected and fast and feels like a whirlwind, and sometimes it takes a little more time, falling together slowly, bit-by-bit. Everyone's "falling in love" story is a little bit different. Ours seemed like a little bit of both. I do think, however, that you choose to stay in love. You choose to take the other's left-behind dirty plate to the sink for them. You choose to write love letters with shaving cream on the bathroom mirror. You choose to go to the midnight premier of the other's favorite movie, even though you spend the entire time wondering what the heck is even going on. Because love is an action. It's not something that just magically sticks around forever without any effort. You have to choose to put the other's wants and needs before your own and build upon that love every single day. It's a lot of work and our relationship is nowhere near perfect. Our first year of marriage has been a constant trial-and-error process and we have so much to learn still. But in that moment one year ago, I realized our future together is what we choose to make it. I'm glad we chose forever.

^^Photos by Kimbry Studios.

memorial day

First and foremost, can I get an amen for this beautiful weather we've been having lately? In Rexburg, the summer is way too short, but it's perfect while it lasts. Not too hot, not humid. And there's so much to do. It's seriously the best. We decided to take advantage of the near 80 degree weather we had this weekend because we could very well have snow the next. Crazier things have happened here. So we packed our tents and sleeping bags and set out to go camping with a fun group of friends and, of course, Dexter.

It took two trips to get all of our stuff to the campsite, so after I dropped off the first load of things and tied Dex's leash to a tree, I went back to grab the rest of it. When I got back, everyone was backed up into the trees a bit, away from our belongings, standing there in silence and looking at something in the distance. I took a few steps closer and saw it. It was a moose. A big moose. The next thing I saw was Dexter, still tethered to the tree right in the middle of it all, whimpering. He was helpless and he knew it. I looked back at the moose, then to Andy. Little Dexter. Big Moose. Andy. Moose. Poor helpless Dexter. Back to Andy. Obviously, a moose isn't exactly a carnivorous beast who would devour the tiny little fluff ball that is Dexter, but in the moment I wasn't thinking so rationally. I was sure he was going to be eaten, or at least trampled. Get him!! I shout-whispered to Andy. Get Dexter! The moose then turned and faced us directly. Okay wait, no Andy maybe don't go. Just wait. After a few minutes of this stare-down, Andy and my best friend's husband, Dave, took matters into their own hands. Dave created a diversion by picking up two sticks and  hitting them together, shouting at the moose. "Get on!! Get outta here! Go away!" while Andy slowly crawled his way towards Dexter, untied him, and brought him back to safety. My hero! The moose finally decided it was time to go and do his own moose thing, so he took off across the creek and back into the woods. Crisis averted. 

^^Full-on panic mode at this point

Thankfully, we had no more run-in's with the wildlife for the rest of the night. We made a fire, cooked tinfoil dinners, toasted Starbursts, and ate more s'mores than we should've. We sat around sharing stories of all different varieties. Embarrassing ones, "stupid things you did in high school" ones, and even a few scary ones. Katie (the friend mentioned earlier) and I realized that it was this weekend two years ago that we first met and became friends. I'm so, so glad that we met and hit it off like we did. It's a rare kind of friendship. The kind that everyone needs in their life. After a lot of laughs and Dr. Peppers we all called it a night and retired to our tents. The night was cold and the ground was lumpy, but a good time was had by all regardless!

More importantly, this weekend was about those who have fought for our nation's freedom. I am forever grateful for those who so bravely serve our country.  I spent some time today thinking about my sweet Papa, who served in the Navy during WWII. He was an honorable, lovable, giant teddy-bear of a man and I can't wait to see him again one day. Happy Memorial Day weekend, everyone!

Papa and my mom. I love this picture of him. We sure do miss him!

a recap of today and a few low quality iPhone pictures.

After a few hits of the snooze button, the day started off right with a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats and some puppy-wrestling in our room, which soon turned to puppy-tossing...which was followed by a few minutes of human-shunning because Dexter was not having it. 

 
Typically church starts at nine in the morning for us, but this week was a bit of a different schedule and while I do not condone church-skipping by any means, it was my wonderful mother-in-law's birthday. So we jumped in the car, picked up Rachel and Aaron, and headed down the road to Andy's parents' house to go celebrate. Driggs has grown to be of my favorite places. Andy grew up with probably one of the greatest views of the Grand Tetons there is and every time I step out the back door and look at them I feel so small. But in a good way. I don't think I'll ever "get used" to living in the mountains. I think they'll always amaze me. 

Does not even do this view one bit of justice. One day I'll have a grown-up camera…Also I don't think I'll ever be able to take an even panorama picture on my phone. Ugh.

When we got there, we decided to adventure on down to the river, where Andy and Aaron spent a few minutes doing some fly fishing. Meanwhile, Rach and I sat on the bank sharing secrets and laughs like good sisters do. Dexter chased the wind as fast as his little legs could carry him.

   

^^That teeny tiny little speck in the water is Andy. 

^^This is happiness.

Forty-five minutes later we were back in the car with the score coming in at Fish-1 Andy and Aaron: 0. Too muddy...too windy, apparently. But spirits were not low! We headed back to the house for a birthday dinner. The rest of the night was spent eating good food and hanging out with the greatest people. We drank Coke and root beer from glass bottles and looked through Grandma and Grandpa's high school yearbooks. It was just one of those nights filled with warm feelings. The best kind! Being so far away from my own family in Arkansas, it's nice to have Andy's side of the family close by. I love those people. After drawing out our mini-escape from everyday craziness as long as we could, we finally made our way back to Rexburg. One very exhausted pup dozed on my lap the whole way there. Raise your hand if you think that weekends need to be longer. I sure do.

^^ Faves.

^^Because who doesn't love a fun pair of socks?

late night ramblings

I am not a night owl. I used to be, sort of, but now I welcome bedtime with open arms. But here I am at two in the morning, writing this and I'm really actually not sure why. Today was a very long day. Not bad, just long. It was one of those days where I didn't just feel like I was going in circles, but I actually was. From home to school to home to school to home to work to home. This really isn't super out of the ordinary because I have a lot of days that look similar to this...today just felt extra busy for whatever reason. And Wednesdays have apparently been dubbed "The Day That All of Hannah's Online Class Homework Will Be Due at Promptly 9PM and No Later Even Though Every Other Online Class Has a Midnight Deadline." (Nope not being dramatic at all.) So when I got home from work, I sat down to finish this homework and I promise I really did have solid intentions. Andy got home soon after and the mindset quickly shifted from "get homework done" to "I need food." Andy, being the sweetheart that he is, offered to make dinner. He really is the greatest. Fast forward a bit and we're an hour past my homework's deadline and it's still not all done. Then I see a sink full of dirty dishes. I glared at them and tried to blink them away but it didn't work. Then, oh yeah, there's a giant pile of dirty clothes that needs to be washed. With my mental checklist of things-to-do growing at an alarming rate, I did the only thing I knew to do: I retreated to the shower. If I can't see the laundry, it can't see me, right? Wednesday was winning.

But now the homework is turned in, the dishes are clean, and all I can hear is the squeak and rumble of clothes tumbling in the dryer. I'm not feeling anxious like 2 AM normally makes me feel. I'm drinking a cup of tea. I'm hoping this warmer weather decides to stick around for a bit. I'm thinking I should maybe switch out the Fall scented hand soap for a more appropriate Spring/Summer time scent but then again maybe not because who says cinnamon pumpkin smells are restricted to only a few months out of the year? I'm remembering how a little girl at work today told me she was born in 2003 and how that made me feel a little bit old. I'm dreaming of the vacation we're hoping to take later this year. I'm enjoying being the last one awake. It makes me feel still inside, like the problems I had a few hours ago aren't much of a problem anymore. Late nights are sobering and Wednesdays aren't so bad. But now my eyes refuse to stay open any longer and it's time to sleep. Goodnight!

Tonight's view brought to you by I-Learn. 

it was mom

It was Mom who gave her best effort in getting the tangled hair out of my face before preschool. 

It was Mom who gave up on this by kindergarten.

It was Mom who had the ability to locate a misplaced shoe (or anything, for that matter) within minutes.

It was Mom who listened to my squeaks and whistles as I learned how to play the flute and never once asked me to stop or quiet down.

It was Mom who came to every single gymnastics meet, even though she closed her eyes during every single one of my beam routines.

It was Mom who taught me how to pray and trust in the Lord with unwavering faith.

It was Mom who had so many DIY ideas that her hands couldn’t keep up.

It was Mom who solved the Junior Year Prom Dress Crisis.

It was Mom who comforted me after my first heartbreak.

It was Mom who taught me that outer beauty means nothing without inner beauty to go along with it.

It was Mom who told me that if you can’t say anything nice, it’s better to say nothing at all.

It was Mom who taught me to love books and reading.

It was Mom who packed my lunch for me every day through senior year.

It was Mom who emphasized the importance of compassion and love towards others.

It was Mom who would call sleepily down the hall to me, “Doing okay?” as I sat up late at night struggling to finish my College Algebra homework.

It was Mom who cried sad-but-a-little-bit-excited tears with me when I moved out for college.

It was Mom who cried happy tears with me on my wedding day.

It was Mom who showed me that a positive attitude truly makes all the difference in the world.

It was Mom who knew when I just needed someone to listen to me.

It was Mom who introduced me to Sonic vanilla Dr. Pepper.

It was Mom who set the ultimate example of selflessness.

It was Mom who saw the good in the world, despite all of the bad.

It was Mom who proved that even though you get older, you never really have to grow up.

It was Mom who in the midst of it all became my very best friend.

I love you, Mom!

I’m so grateful for the many wonderful, beautiful women in my life who set the example of what a mother should be. I have so many that I look up to. My stepmom, Kimberlee, my mother-in-law, Kimberly, my Mema, my Grandma, my Aunt Karen, my sister-in-law, Sara, my friend Britney…the list goes on and on. All are truly beautiful, inside and out. Happy Mother's Day!

everyone else was doing it...

I did it. I did exactly what I once said I’d never do. I started a blog. But I’ve been contemplating it for a while now and I have some free time so here we are! I’ve never been one to put myself out there like this, so I’m feeling a little bit out of place here in blog-world, but a little bit awesome at the same time mostly because I actually figured out how to set one of these things up. It's still under a bit of construction so anyone who is actually reading this...bear with me.

Why am I doing this? In the last few years I’ve rediscovered my love for writing things down. When I was younger, I kept a journal almost religiously because I didn’t want to forget anything. I probably asked for a journal for every birthday/Christmas/any other gift-giving holiday. Those journals kept by the grade school version of me are some of my most treasured possessions, even though most entries consisted of how gymnastics practice went that day or my speculations on where I thought my Avril Lavigne CD disappeared to (I went through a Harriet the Spy phase where everything misplaced was actually “stolen” and was open to investigation. By me.) …so yeah, not a whoooole lot of depth going on there. Even still, I love looking back on them and seeing what was important to me at the time. About two years ago I bought a new journal on a whim, filled it up, bought a new one, and the cycle continues! I thought blogging would be a fun sort of virtual-journaling that might force me to take more pictures (something I’m not as good at). So we’ll see how this goes.

Mostly, I made this blog so that my family back home could follow along and know what’s going on in my life, so I know I’ll have at least two readers (Mom…Aunt Karen…I’m looking at you).  I asked myself a lot of questions in the process of creating this blog. Would anyone else read it? Would they enjoy reading it? Would they roll their eyes? Ask anyone who knows me and they’ll tell you I’ve always been hyper-aware of what other people thought of me, which is not necessarily something I like. So basically I'm just trying to do things I probably wouldn't have before and not worry so much about what others think. I’ve learned that most people really don’t even care enough to even bat their eyes at something like this. And that’s normal. I’m good with that, too. Really this is all just for fun. Except I paid for this template so hopefully it’s not a complete flop. Fingers crossed.

Why did I name it "June For Keeps?" Well first, June is such a special month to me because it's the month Andy and I were married! And it's the month of Andy's birthday. And who doesn't love June? Everything about it is just good. I knew I wanted to use June in the title, and in the middle of not being pleased with my original idea, I did what any logical person would do…I googled "quotes about June." (Not ashamed) I came across a quote that said:
"I wonder what it would be like to live in a world where it was always June." -L.M. Montgomery
And I really just liked that. Unfortunately, "Always June" was already taken. So once again, I turned to my favorite search engine and typed in "synonyms for 'always.'" (Yeah…yes I did.) "For keeps" is just another way of saying forever or always. So "June For Keeps" it is, because if I could freeze time and stay in one month forever, it'd be June.

This blog is just about me and my really cool/fun/awesome husband, Andy, and our life together. And with our puppy, Dexter. Truthfully, a lot most of the time we’re either doing homework or watching Netflix, but every now and then things get a little bit more exciting. So follow along if you’d like!

Hannah

A nice selfie session a few Sundays back.

Dexter. The most photogenic of us all.